Okay, initially I was going to take a break from online dating for the summer and now it's been confirmed. I had a brief up yesterday when I was matched with a guy who seemed great.....but he was just like the rest. Hope that I will find anyone fantastic for me and the kids is dwindling. I want to have faith that someone amazing ( disappeared) is just in the wings, but it's getting harder.
Also, the feeling of being self sufficient and strong is slipping. Doesn't help that my mother basically said I couldn't handle it. I don't want to, I would rather have a partner- but I don't. Her undermining, constantly paying, freaking out and micromothering my kids while on this vacation is not helpful. I know I should be grateful, but I already feel like a failure and it just makes it worse. We are at the home of the perfect one, and I am the screwup tagging along for the visit. Negative self talk is seeping in.
Negative thoughts don't help, but I am tired and I don't know what else to do. I suppose just try and prove them wrong and hope tomorrow is better...
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