okay, so I am a spiritualist, a pagan if you will. I have been since I was 15 or so. I believe in signs, in fate, in something bigger. However, I have never been very good at letting things " just happen". Once I sink my teeth in, I am a bit of a bulldog. I am learning to let this go, or trying to. It's probably why I have such a problem with Disappeared. I have always, ALWAYS felt like he would come back. I felt it deep deep in my bones, when he didn't, I stopped trusting my gut.
Now I think maybe that feeling wasn't so wrong,but I got the wrong lesson from it, I kept trying to make him come back instead of trusting the higher power to provide me with what I needed. Today, in the sunshine, driving down the road I felt at peace. Somebody is watching out for me and what I have been looking for is coming, but I need to trust it- not force it. Like E's laugh....
My baby E, she is quick with a smile but her giggles are hard earned. I tried everything and she won't give it up, and it's a sweet sound so you want to hear it! However, recently, she has been letting fly with laughter more and more and always accidentally. Turns out, she just needed time to get there on her own. You can't force it, it needs to happen at the right time...I am constantly learning from my kids.
So I will keep reading my goddess deck nightly and keep my heart open. My cards seem to indicate I will find true love and that should expect a miracle and so I will- I will just work a bit harder at not trying to see that miracle as one specific person and will not try and force anything to occur....setting fate free to do what she will.....taking a breath and just believing.
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