Friday 7 October 2016

Crossroads

I am at a crossroads. I am unsure of exactly what I should do. I could spend another weekend in the comfortable but not healthy presence of Golden Eye or I could use this opportunity for a true and solid break-giving the Doppleganger a chance.

Who is the Doppleganger and aren't you on a hiatus? I hung on to one person. We only talk when he sends me a message first and we have great conversations. He is everything I could want in a guy and we have a lot in common. A whole lot. However, there are a few warning signs that have me hesitant-they could be nothing, just freak coincidence, or they could be something. I talked to someone for four months starting this time last year and then they disappeared-this guy lives in the same place, had the same cancer and some of his speech patterns are the same.....and he is resistant to giving me his information and hasn't shared any additional pictures. This is very worrisome and stops my from allowing myself in too deep.

I blew him him off last weekend when I had Golden Eyes over and if I cave and do what feels comfortable, I could risk losing something that could be right and good for me. So I have to try and deny what I want temporarily so I can give what I truly want a chance.

I hope I am strong enough.

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